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Ballad of an enterprising painter. or, whatever.

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Hey there readers, if there are any, and if not that's cool too. I know I'm a newb, not hatin' just tellin' it like it is. So if there aren't any readers, i totally get it! No credibility = no interest = I might as well be posting to myself (which I guess I am anyway because this is a blog... anyway). The sad thing is I have been a newb for a long friggin' time. I originally started painting minis way back in 2000, maybe earlier, it's all a haze really, I was just a wee tot. I was inspired by my fried and local game store owner, so I picked up a Chaos Space Marine starter and butchered up some of the ugliest Iron Warriors to shamefully shuffle out of the Eye of Terror! Seriously, my painting skills made Drybrushing cry itself to sleep in shame.
Shortly after this unfortunate brush and paint related trauma I retired (no better when I finished than I was when I started). it was not until many, many years later the Tau hit the GW scene that I decided, dude these guys are friggin cool looking and I want to try my hand at painting! (again) so I picked up some Tau, I didn't even get to put paint to brush when my very small, yet pricey Tau army was VIOLENTLY MURDERED!!! by a big furry Tarrasque named Goldie (the family dog) so I resigned myself to shame and sadness and not painty-ness until shortly after I found out that Dark Angels were getting a revamp! (I know my army choices are all over the board) Not to mention they were going to be put out SUPER cheaply for their new make-over's debut. I like the whole gothic knights look and I thought man these guys' back story is so boss, I want to field these guys and stomp major face. So I bought their command squad AND a battle box... I think i got as far as putting DA green and bleached bone on them and attempting to highlight them, poorly I might add, before life jumped up again and said "no sir, now your life must be EXTRA CRAZY!!!" Yet again, no idea what spurned it, but I laid down my trusty brush and did other junk, like join the military and get in relationships with crazy chicks and fail at pursuing my dreams.
Well, I'll tell you what. That all stops TODAY! I have the minis, I have the paints, I have no job (aka some extra free time)! I am going to bedazzle and beautify the bajeezuz out of these DARK ANGELS! Not only that, but I am going to put all of my heart wrenching paint related moments on this blog, for your entertainment, and hopefully benefit, as I know I am going to make mistakes, I know I am going to fail and you get a pain free opportunity to learn from it! (and hopefully get a chuckle at my expense) I just started by taking my command squad and tossing their asses in a soap bath. they looked decent, but nowhere near where I wanted them to be. Not to mention I shouldn't have started with them (over zealous move on my part) so goodbye uncounted hours of painting, hello fresh start! On much less valuable -both monetarily and strategically- Troop choices, or as I like to call them, mooks.
So here is the process so far:
  1. find five dudes that mommy didn't hug enough. A.k.a mooks or red shirts or "troop choices" or whatever you want to call guys that can survive not looking super duper B.A. (if you don't know that abbreviation I'm not telling!)
  2. duct tape their a**es (or bases, whatever) to a piece or cardboard, so the don't fly off when the primer smacks them in the dome.
  3. take them outside and vigorously apply, er... evenly apply white primer to their dome, also everywhere else. You may be thinking "whoa, hold the phone,white primer? why not BLACK primer? they are Dark Angels, yeah?" Well, I really like white, prefer grey, buy like white. the colors on Dark Angels are already so dark that it is hard to give them good shadowing if you start over black because they are already crazy dark (did I already say that?). plus, rumor has it, that the highlights will be brighter, which adds dimension to the models. Or so I hear. THAT sounds like what I want to achieve. so, on to step:
  4. Wait for my minis to completely dry. fingerprints in primer = ugly, ugly minis. (learned that one already) really boring step, so I immediately moved on to step:
  5. Sit down and write the first installment of my blog! Right, so we have caught up to what is June 4th, 2014's present time at 0134 MT (or 1:34 am mountain time). This is the part where i plan out my next few steps.
  6. base coat the minis in layers of 3:1 (wateraint) of VMC (Vallejo Model Color) 980; Black Green until it reaches the level of bad a**ery that I desire. I'll let you know in the next installment how many that ends up being.
  7. take notes on EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! seriously, if you take good notes and are patient things will work in your favor. I have found that all successful people have 1 major thing in common, painter or business exec and that is to take awesome notes and keep track of progress. so... do that. or not, your call.
  8. probably go to sleep as it is way early and ... I can't really think so good right now.
  9. last thing. I found this bawlin' video that i think all VMC paint bottle users/ GW terrible paint pot HATERS will love.,d.b2k

Ok, so in closing. it's time to go make plastic prettier! I hope you guys made it this far into my brain drool (if you did, mad props) and I hope you keep up with my little blog! if you have any comments, about anything at all just post em. I'm pretty open to just about anything. Thanks!

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Updated 06-04-2014 at 04:48 AM by Burtondn85



  1. MiniatureMistress's Avatar
    People read this stuff, promise!
  2. mousterian's Avatar
    I'm on the edge of my seat...

    How about an update or some pics?
  3. adeptkoala's Avatar
    Yes, I read every word and am off to your next post!

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