The Power of Silence
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, 03-12-2009 at 11:04 PM (3505 Views)
Were some thoughts pushed below the surface, allowed to be changed with time, perhaps to be forgotten forever.She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl. How many “I love you’s” went unsaid that would have healed an aching heart. ""I'm young again!"" she shouts exuberantly. As with sleep, you cannot store them and build a reserve to tap into at a later date. As my friend raves on about her new love, I've taken a good look at my old one. Their power, their balming effect, quickly dissipates with disuse.My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. They work only in the moment that they were intended.Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. Left idle, their potential is gone, the object of their delivery untouched by kindness, by tenderness.His hairline is receding and his body shows the signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. “I love you.Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home. ” It is so simple to say. When my friend asked me ""What will make this love last. Three words."" I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication. There are many other opportunities to say them, but none more important and possessing more potential than now.Yet there's more. Words can have the opposite effect if left unsaid, almost as if they were spoken as opposites.We still have fun. Silence can equal the opposite.Spontaneous good times. “I love you” unsaid can become “I don’t love you” out loud.Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled up newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Your most tender and endearing thoughts, if not allowed to fly free from the prison of your mind, may silently tell someone that you don’t care.Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. How many times has your silence told your partner or child that you didn’t love them.Even washing dishes can be a blast. How often has an unsaid word created the opposite effect.We enjoy simply being together. Think of all the lives that would have been changed had armies of sentences been allowed to roam free. And there are surprises. Those who go through life cloaked in spoken endearments, wrapped and comforted in the voiced love of others, are truly blessed.One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. mp3 players The power of the spoken word is mighty.I opened the door to find Scott holding a ""pot of gold"" (my cooking kettle) and the ""treasure"" of a gift package. The power of silence can be mightier still.Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow. world of warcraft gold Countless millions of words have been written and spoken since the beginning of human history. There is understanding. A total of all the words in all the libraries of the world, past and present, and every word of every conversation, idle chatter, lecture, broadcast, and speech in history would be dwarfed by the vast legions of words left unsaid, those rendered impotent by silence.I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. wow Not that it is a good thing to instantly speak every thought that comes to mind: chaos would ensue.And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids—and even him-to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing. We have to be selective of our words and deliver them into the pattern of conversation where appropriate; however, it is our mental editing that isolates certain words and thoughts as unspeakable, and sentences them to die (pun intended). There is sharing. wow gold Words can change the world.Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens—we also share ideas. They can incite, torture, kill, comfort, heal, encourage, humiliate, anger, inspire, sadden, give joy, make one laugh, and they can forever change one’s life.Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. wow gold There are many kinds of words: “In other words,” four-letter-words, words that are read, words to make you blue; there is the spoken word, the written word, the forgotten word; we put words in someone’s mouth, and we don’t have the words to express.Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I'd read it. wow gold kaufen There is forgiveness. When I'm embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me. Words, words, everywhere, and not a thought to speak.When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, ""It's okay. And the unsaid words—oh, how they could have changed the course of history! Would they have altered the destructive lives of John Wilkes Booth, Adolph Hitler, Lee Harvey Oswald, Jeffrey Daumer, or the Son of Sam.It's only money.